The hour before a football game is intense. Intensity is good, especially when you are encouraging a bunch of 14 and 15 year olds to play their hearts out for four quarters. As coaches we try to temper the intensity by having a choreographed process leading up to kick-off designed to keep the players focused on their specific roles and responsibilities. This cadence helps to keep the intensity in check. My goal is to build the intensity to a level that provides just enough rocket fuel to get through the game, but not so much that it clouds judgement and behavior. Agitation is your enemy during these critical moments.
At some point before the game you will find me alone in the end zone, wearing my Coach’s head set, drowning out the noise and getting centered – getting calm. People comment on my rocking side to side, unaware of my movement, in prayer or reflection lightly bouncing from one leg to another. I need to be calm during the highs and lows that make up a game so my players see me as a rock. I need to be the cradle of optimism and of what is possible. They need to see in me that light, and that regardless of the score, I believe in them. And to do that, I can’t be a wild man pacing the sidelines like my pants are on fire. I need to be – Centered.
On to the real world…
I’ve debated the issues. I’ve engaged in vigorous conversation across the dinner table, with on-line posts, point counter points. I’ve been consumed with getting my POV across. I’ve been where you are, albeit several years ago and I’d like to offer you some advice and perhaps add to the quality of your life.
Stop. Really, just stop.
You are stealing valuable time from loved ones. You are stealing time from your work. The things that make you a better Mother, Father, manager, leader, employee, business owner, coach, student, friend….those things are being abandoned to so that you can do what? Change someone’s mind? You won’t. Feel better that you won the sparing match? You won’t. Grow intellectually? You won’t. By and large, your audience is an echo chamber. They will agree and commiserate. What does that accomplish? The people you debate with are as passionate and rooted in their belief system and POV that you will not change anything. So, what, I ask, are you accomplishing, other than agitating others and yourself?
When you do this, you create turmoil in your own mind. You become un-centered, off balance. You position you mind to be combative and defensive. Your relationships with people who truly matter suffer, often times greatly. You become a thief – stealing valuable time and energy from people who need you and want you.
Tune out the noise. It’s unnecessary and destructive. There are so many better things that you can be doing with your most precious asset…your time. Invest in positivity.
Turn off talk radio (unless it’s sports talk J).
Ignore the political posts.
Step out of the debate, and enjoy your life.
You wife or husband or child or significant other will thank you.
Tim Muses 